I knew from the beginning he would be a good father. He took to my girls instantly, with all the normal adjectives: protective, guiding, caring. He added a few distinct job descriptions of his own: video game mentor, nonsense instigator, master nerf gun tutor. He did all the boring dad duties: chauffeur, chaperone, logistics. He did all the crappy stuff: discipline, dinner decisions, patiently tolerating the girls not being as fast as he was on video games. I don’t think I could ever express the gratitude and appreciation I have for my husband’s ability and willingness to step in where someone else left a wake of heartache. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, folks.
When I told him we were pregnant, he hit his knees in tears. For 9 months, he talked to my belly, every single day. He put speakers on my belly and played so much music, I’m surprised the baby wasn’t born with an instrument. I would have told you it was impossible to see pure, life changing love happen in front of human eyes. But I would have been wrong.
From the instant he held our baby boy in the operating room for the first time, my husband was more than smitten. I don’t know of a word to describe how devoted he was, how much love was wrapped in a hospital blanket. Completely. Totally. In love, with a devotion to that child I never could have fathomed. Long after that ‘new baby smell’ has worn off, he is still beyond smitten. I have never known someone who took the responsibility of being a parent to heart like he did. Watching the joy in my husband’s face when teaching our son, is second only to watching the joy of a toddler discovering the world. It’s a wonder I don’t just walk around sobbing because of how heart wrenchingly adorable the two of them are together with their matching clothes and secret handshakes. While my husband may over think things regarding our son quite a bit, I admire how he realizes the importance of raising a child. It can be the difference between one more asshole in the world or a loving, creative human. The weight of every decision and every possible outcome is carried squarely on my husband’s shoulders. Like exponential butterfly effect, kids.
But no matter how heavy that gets, you can see the weight lift with every “I love you, buddy.” Watch for a moment longer and you will see the weight disappear completely when this tiny little being says, “I yooou tooo.”
So this Father’s Day, I want my husband to know how loved and appreciated he is, by me, by the girls and by our not-so-tiny tot, and how grateful I am to be in this crazy life with him. Thank you for being more than I could have asked for in a husband, a best friend and a father.